Not surprisingly somehow, we ended up sitting across from the parents and the little girl in the aeroplane. Although many people dread finding themselves next to a baby in an aeroplane, I quite welcome the distraction, given that I love children and flying makes me long for the ground more than anything else I can think of.
At first everything was fine. Blondie sat with her Father and stared around at all the unfamiliar things in an aeroplane and the kind faces around her. It was when the engines started, that she panicked and started screaming and squirming. Whether you are a parent or not, you can imagine the parents’ horror at causing this disturbance in the whole plane.
Do you recognize the reactions? Isn’t this what we do, when something behaves shockingly different to the way we want? We do all we can to try to distract it, or distract ourselves, desperately trying to mould it back into the shape we want it. We want things to go according to plan, to show others that we have life under control and not to cause anyone any inconvenience.
Even when all the alarm bells are going off inside our bodies and minds, we as human beings see it as our responsibility to handle it and not to bother anyone with our reality.
We want to shut that baby up, not only for her own sake, but to show other passengers that we are good parents, doing our job well, thank you very much.
Well in this case, looking at the parents made me feel very nervous. And I was an adult, an outsider.
I can only begin to imagine how it made the child feel, as she looked to her parents for reassurance and comfort, some signal that all was fine in their world, despite the confined space and the strange engine noises.
Of course this is not about blame, and as I say, we have all experienced walking around with a screaming baby until we felt powerless and exhausted. Nobody has all the answers.
But a frightened child can find very little stability and comfort, if you are not there. And energetically speaking, when you lose your grounding and fly off, you are not there.
If your nature is to be. You have to do your best to get grounded, and it doesn’t happen overnight.
So the time when your child is screaming in an aeroplane, is not the best time to start.
There is a saying that the best thing that you can give your children is Roots and Wings. The roots are not just about material safety and family traditions. Energetic roots are the same as grounding, something they can fall back on, something they know is reliable and always present for them.
On the plane trip back, we saw an example of this too. In the front of the plane were another couple, a few years older than Blondie’s parents, and they happened to be a few kgs heavier than the fit and sporty, solarium-brown parents of Blondie. All together, they looked more solid.
This couple had a little boy of about 2, who went exploring in the aeroplane and walking down the aisle, he confidently chatted to the passengers on either side. His mother sat and sometimes stood up, in the front, looking relaxed, present and happy. His Father sat there reading the paper and sometimes he took a quick look down the aisle to make sure everything was ok.
If you were to compare the physical activity, Blondie’s parents were much more actively busy with their daughter. From an energetic point of view, they loaded all their own stress and fears onto her when she needed it the least.
The chubby little bandit, however, was fortunate enough to have parents he could lean on energetically. They were present like a rock in his life, always offering him a stable base, whatever adventures he went on. The solid energetic connection between them, offered him trust and freedom as he went about his playing, on a much longer leash, metaphorically speaking, than Blondie would ever enjoy.
I was calmed by watching the Mother who literally gave her son Roots and Wings. A firm grounding, and lots of freedom to breathe. What more could a child ask for?