Yesterday we were at a birthday party. Just a family affair, Dutch style, with lots of chairs gathered round and hapjes (snacks) coming along once in a while. About 25 people all in all, and there was an animated chatter in the room as we all caught up with the latest news and developments within the family. It struck me once again how much is happening, energy-wise, on such an occasion. With so many people in one room, a certain excitement builds up, the energy rises and the grounding partially falls away. Energetically, it looks like we are hanging just outside our own bodies. We are not far from our ourselves, but also not completely relaxing into our bodies and our grounding.
First of all, I don’t much like the word Lonely.
Or let me rephrase that- I don’t like the way society uses it. Lonely itself is a dignified word with its own poise and grace. But these days, people tend to inflict a ‘them and us’ energy into it. They are ‘lonely’ and that could never happen to us. They tend to associate loneliness with a slight air of failure, of having played your life out badly and having made the wrong decisions.
“She is a batty old lady, probably lonely since she never had children…”
To many, loneliness is seen as a sad or even pathetic state of being, one that must be avoided at all costs.
Now this is important, not just because it is not a very respectful way of seeing the life span of another person, but because it leads to an unrealistic view of Life- the life of those who are lonely, and our willingness to admit to our own loneliness in our own lives.
I am often struck by the extent to which we have set ourselves up for loneliness in our culture. It is nothing new, of course, that there is little togetherness in our Western society. The ways of our forefathers including tribal, village or even family-clan lifestyles are long gone.
We value our individuality and privacy. We are brought up to be self-reliant and we find nothing more awful than to admit that we are vulnerable.
In many ways, life is a kind of competition where we constantly compare ourselves with other people- our siblings, neighbours, colleagues and friends. We try to outshine each other to prove our worth by creating visible success in whatever way- academic achievement, sports, financial, material, social... When I write this I find it sounds superficial and most of us would want to take immediate distance from this kind of behaviour. But can you honestly say that this mentality has not affected the way you see yourself, the way you measure yourself and most deeply maybe, the way you criticize and discipline yourself?
As a Healer, I see the world as a World of Energy.